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Why does it always rain the hardest on those who deserve the sun?
The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity.
If you were a tear in my eyes, I would not cry for the fear of losing you.
All men are born free and equal. If they go and get married, that’s their own fault.
Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.
Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy!
Being single doesn’t mean you don’t know anything about love, it just means you know enough to wait for it.
Seeing a spider is nothing. It becomes a problem when it disappears.
If you stop telling lies about me, I’ll stop telling the truth about you.
Its crazy how much you let someone hurt you without realizing it.
When I get a text from you, I immediately stop whatever I’m doing to read it.
Accept the craziness. Life will be a bore without it.
A wise man once said, You can’t be old & wise, if you were never young & crazy.
Being someones FIRST may be great but being LAST is perfect…
People change, things change, time changes, priorities change, but expectations always remain the same..
My head is telling my heart “I told you so!”.
Some people should try thinking, it’s not illegal yet
I’m not crazy, I’m just special.
I was talking to myself last night and we both agreed that you’re crazy..
Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee, you can’t stop me! I broke my off switch..
Am i the only one who gets this random urge to help old ladies half way across the street and leave them there?
Aging is inevitable, Maturing is optional.
i haven’t lost my brain it just couldn’t handle my ideas so it left
I’ve been thinking. I know, it scares me too..
When you see my head tilt to the side and I start to stare into space. I would run. The voices inside my head just gave me a brilliant idea. Be very afraid!
I don’t talk to myself, i talk to the little voices in my head that tell me to do evil cruel things to people and that’s the reason why i smile all the time..
Does anyone else get scared when a text reads “Can I ask you a question?”
You people are crazy! I know…I can recognize my kind.
If a thoughtless thought is thought, would a thought thoughtlessly think of thoughtless thoughts whenever thinking thoughts are thoughtless? What a thought, eh?
I know that you know that I know what you know and you know what they know so I know what you know they know, you know?
Wonders if its bad when I’m talking to myself and I’m not even listening…
It doesn’t matter what people say about you. It matters what you’re going to do to them after they say it!
The stuff you heard about me is a lie, I’m way worse…
Money is made of paper, paper is made of wood, and wood is made from trees. Therefore, money does grow on trees.
OH MY GOD, The rain’s wet..
You must be a certified helmet wearing window licker to ride the sunshine bus..
They don’t know that we know they know we know.
Press “like” if you are crazy.
Being stupid is its own reward.
The strawberry shampoo doesn’t taste as good as it smells.
I say no to drugs, but they don’t listen.
I cannot tell you how grateful I am, I am filled with humidity.
Don’t call me crazy. I much prefer the term “mentally hilarious”.
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