Clever Facebook Status

Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?

If all men are the same, why do women take so long to choose one?

If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I’ll tell you more.

There is something wrong with my phone. Any GIRL call it for me to see if it rings?

I’m not actually this tall. I am sitting on my wallet.

History is made by those who BREAK THE RULES.

Sometimes people try way so hard to sound clever on Facebook.

A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness and just stupid enough to admire it.

Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?

Never run after a bus or a girl. There will always be another one.

We will flip a coin to determine our future. Head, we will be together. Tail, we will flip again.

Happy on the outside, but simply dieing on the inside.

I am not scared of dying, I just don’t want to!

Try and fail, but don’t fail to try.

People need to lose the attitudes today b’coz I am NOT in the mood.

Its not illegal unless you get caught.

‎BUT is just a word you use when you’re afraid to try.

Two things only a man cannot hide, that he is drunk and that he is in love.

When your ex says you’ll never find anyone like me reply that’s the point.

What you see on the outside is usually the opposite of what’s on the inside.

You are not born a winner; you are not born a loser. You are born a chooser.

Everything is getting more expensive. Except for people, they are getting cheaper.

If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you dont, you’ll find an excuse.

It’s funny how many lies can be packed in one LOVE LETTER.

Girls are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken.

I lost my teddy bear. Can i sleep with you?

Whhat if life come with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP

You know sweety, my lips won’t just kiss themselves. Please help.

It’s not cheating unless you get caught.

I was blinded by your beauty so I’m going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.

I’ve noticed you noticing me and I’m just giving you notice that I’ve noticed you!

Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember.

No matter where I am, no matter where you are, I’ll be there when its over baby. Cause I was there from the start.

The whole world is great! That is…until you wake up.

When your enemies are making mistakes, don’t interrupt them.

No matter how long we have traveled on the wrong road, we can always turn around.

Wonders, do you do anything on your own or does everyone else think and make your decisions for you?

Everybody is beautiful to somebody.

Warning, it’s not safe to talk to me at the moment..

Sometimes the best revenge is moving forward and being happy despite the people that try to drag you down.

Don’t worry about tomorrow you did that yesterday.

My life is open book but i don’t allow everyone to read it.

I don’t like to think myself as ‘Special’ I like to think myself as limited edition.

Can you stop being so attractive? I`m trying to move on here..

The true beauty of a woman is her ability to make a man better in every way.

You can’t make the same mistake twice. The second time you make it, it’s no longer a mistake, it’s a choice.

Genius by birth evil by nature human by chance..

I won’t try to be awesome, awesome tries to be me.

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what i am saying.

I never look for trouble, it just always seems to find me.