Clever Facebook Status

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

Welcome to your 40s. You are no longer the target audience for anything cool.

Arguing with a fool proves there are two.

The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend

Don’t worry about people stealing an idea. If it’s original, you will have to ram it down their throats.

I might as well call you Google, Bcoz you have everything that I am looking for.

If we only knew how many times our seemingly clever comment cut straight into the heart of the person with whom we have just spoken, it is we who would bleed.

May your life someday be as good as you make it out to be on Facebook.

We should love, Not fall in love…Because everything that falls, gets broken….

Never criticise someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes…that way you are a mile away and you have their shoes :-)

Always try don’t feel fail without try!

Hi – I’m the girl of your dreams. Someone said you were looking for me.

We should love, not fall in love… because everything that falls, gets broken…

God made every person different, He got tired! by the time he got to China…

Sometimes no matter..! how much you want things to happen!, all you can do is wait…

You will win when you will not be afraid to admit your failures.

says crazy is a relative term. Most of my relatives have it. LOL

War doesn’t determine who’s right—it determines who’s left

If your glass is always half empty, buy smaller glasses.

Life is too short to let someone make you miserable. Remember, someone can only make you unhappy if you give them the power to do so.

I can’t hang out tomorrow I’m too busy doing nothing alone sorry.

People wanna see you doing well but not better than them… remember that!

Rules are made to the break!

A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talk to each other instead of about each other…

I haven’t failed at anything, I’ve just found all the wrong ways of doing it!!

I love listening to lies when I know the truth.

Never look back unless there’s beautiful guy behind you!

If the inventor of copyright had copyrighted his idea, nobody would be able to use copyright.

I can’t be friends with sensitive ass people, I joke around way too much.

Everyone is looking for a strong person, nobody needs a clever one.

Don’t think about tomorrow, Think about the now!

I can make your gf scream louder than you can.

If being #Hot is a #Crime = ARREST ME!

No I didnt trip The floor looked like it needed a hug

My Friend ask me, How is your life? I said she is fine.

You can kill your attraction to anyone by watching them chew.

Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.

I am not failed, Because my success is lost.!

Warning, its not safe to talk to me at the moment..

Types something clever to get people to like my status :)

Love doesn’t show up on an X-ray… but it’s there.

All man are not fools, some stay bachelors.!

Relationships are like yard sales, are great fun few hundred feet away, but realize that it is just a bunch of junk that is not necessary.

I have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. I’m also deaf in one ear.

I’m paying my taxes with a smile, but they wrote me back saying they want cash.

Sometimes it’s better to be alone so that nobody hurts you.

When you have a good imagination, you can make up all the facts you want!

Alarm clocks should come with sounds like “tiny doll feet scampering into the closet” because I am not hitting snooze when I hear that.

Hell is a never-ending Instagram account of a girl who just got a new boyfriend.

I’m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I’m perfect.