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Never look back unless there’s beautiful guy behind you!

If the inventor of copyright had copyrighted his idea, nobody would be able to use copyright.

I can’t be friends with sensitive ass people, I joke around way too much.

Everyone is looking for a strong person, nobody needs a clever one.

Don’t think about tomorrow, Think about the now!

I can make your gf scream louder than you can.

If being #Hot is a #Crime = ARREST ME!

No I didnt trip The floor looked like it needed a hug

My Friend ask me, How is your life? I said she is fine.

You can kill your attraction to anyone by watching them chew.

Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.

I am not failed, Because my success is lost.!

Warning, its not safe to talk to me at the moment..

Types something clever to get people to like my status :)

Love doesn’t show up on an X-ray… but it’s there.

All man are not fools, some stay bachelors.!

Relationships are like yard sales, are great fun few hundred feet away, but realize that it is just a bunch of junk that is not necessary.

I have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. I’m also deaf in one ear.

I’m paying my taxes with a smile, but they wrote me back saying they want cash.

Sometimes it’s better to be alone so that nobody hurts you.