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United Airlines was just voted number one in Chinese takeout!

No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that crap and move on.

I am Waiting for GF Message!

Keys to a good friendship. Same taste in alcohol. Different taste in women.

Your attitude can hurt me but mine can kill you.

Drunk me would really appreciate a light switch on the floor.

Don’t expect anything from the person, your not.

People come and go…the best will stay.

Joy is the simplest form of gratitude.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Every burden is a blessing.

Sometimes you succeed…. and other times you learn.

I may be fat, but you’re ugly – I can lose weight!

My style is unique don’t copy it!

Fool me once, shame on you, Fool me twice, and I’ll break your face.

A laugh is a smile that bursts.

I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

Dear crush, fall in love with me. ^_^

You know you’re getting old when the guys from the “cialis” commercials are starting to look hot.

I can’t think of anything because I always thinking about your everything.