Naughty Facebook Status

So if you don’t like to see me smoking, then you better find another ways to keep my lips busy.

Once you begin being naughty, it is easier to go and on and on, and sooner or later something dreadful happens.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

If you are naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine :)

I think I can DIE Happy Now, BEcause I’ve just seen A Piece of Heaven.

When I die my gravestone is going to have a ‘Like’ button

If you are naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine :)

Two word’s guys hate DON’T and STOP, unless you put them together :)

A man that respects a woman deserves atleast ONE :)

I believe in love and marriage but not necessarily with the same person.

The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.

People make the world go around but at some point don’t you wish it were flat so all the idiots would keep walking and never come back?

I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover.

I lost a bet and I have to come here and ask the hottest girl on a date…who do you girls think is the hottest girl in this place?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Smile is the second best thing you can do with your lips. ;-)

Finally 21, and legally able to do everything I’ve been doing since 15. ;-)

In every circle of friends there’s always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don’t have one? Then it’s probably you.

Time to put that wall back up, I won’t be fooled again.

Facebook’s next update, allowing you to check other people’s private messages.

I hate people that starts tweets with “I hate people that.”

When I die my gravestone is going to have a ‘Like’ button.

Once you begin being naughty, it is easier to go and on and on, and sooner or later something dreadful happens.

Poke me now if you’ve ever had a crush on me..

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

Heard your family went to a restaurant where they serve crabs just so they could bring you along.

Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable…like a coma.

We know that romance brings out the beast in you.

A secret is what you tell everyone not to tell anyone else.

Some people say the glass is half empty. Others say it’s half full. I’m just happy to have a glass!

The key of my happiness, just forgetting my past.

If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.

Love is blind, and greed insatiable..

Practice makes perfect, But nobody’s perfect, so why practice?

If u feel stressed, give yourself a break Eat some ice cream, chocolates, candy & cake Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is DESSERTS..

I wanna throw a party with fake alcohol and see how many people act wasted..

hey, I found your nose. it was in my business again.

Throwing random things at people then acting like it wasn`t you.

There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few can catch your heart.

Texting with your pinky because you`re eating.

Before talking, Please connect the tongue to the brain….

Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.

I don’t care what they say, the first guy who milked a cow and drank it was a massive pervert.

If you don’t have a Facebook account, all your high school friends just assume you died.