Insult Facebook Status

Don’t feel special, I only keep your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.

Actually no, my status wasn’t aimed at you, but hey, if the shoe fits, feel free to wear it.

Oh you are dating my ex? Cool, Im eating a sandwich …. want those leftovers too?

Are you always this stupid, or are you making a special effort today?

I don’t insult people. I just describe them.

If you liked my profile, Raise up ur hands. If not, raise your standard

If you’re going to be two-faced at least make one of them pretty.

Hi! I’m a human being! What are you?

Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?

Are your parents siblings?

I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing with you, you’re just not laughing.

Heard your family went to a restaurant where they serve crabs just so they could bring you along.

Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn’t have given you worse advice.

How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I’ll get back to you.

If I want your opinion, I’ll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.

I’m not here right now so cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and Get Over it.

I’d explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

Save your breath, you’ll need it to blow up your date.

Mix with people with a good attitude.

If you are shameless, you would do as you wish…

Why don’t you understand me like my iPhone does??

90% of the time I say `BRB` it just means I don`t want to talk to you anymore..

Don’t think, it may sprain your brain!

How would you like to feel the way you look?

I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works..

I don’t even like the people you’re trying to imitate, if you are at all.

Why are you so stupid today? Anyway, I think that’s very typical of you.

Do u practice being this ugly?

Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent…

I like you. People say I’ve no taste, but I like you.

Careful now, don’t let your brains go to your head…

Brains aren’t everything. In fact, in your case they’re nothing…