Facebook Jokes

Brighten the day of your friends by posting new facebook jokes every day. Jokes are for making every one laugh with you. Get the funniest facebook jokes of all times and share with friends on this platform. If you are in humorous mood then also make your friends smile by sharing funny facebook pranks with them. Here you will find the cool and unique facebook jokes status.

My parents told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!” so I turned on the subtitles.

Insert coin to view my status message.

If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.

I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.

It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner. :)

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

I want you to have a candle-lit dinner and say those magical three words to you ………… “Pay The bill”

My friend wants to know if you think I’m hot.

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

God must love stupid people. He made SO many.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

If Facebook is like dating, then Twitter is like a one night stand – it’s fun while you’re doing it, you finish in like 5 minutes, and you feel real cheap afterwards.

Lary is wondering if they could invent a self cleaning oven, why can’t they invent a self cleaning house?

If vegetarians eat only vegetables, what about humanitarians?

Facebook is the adult way of having imaginary friends.

Good friends will bail you out of jail. Best friends will be sitting in the cell with you, laughing about how awesome that just was.

I never make the same mistake twice. Three, four times maybe. But never twice.

Facebook, because time isn’t going to kill itself.

Just finished deleting some friends on Facebook, if you can read this then you got lucky.

Is there a rehab for Facebook addiction?

Stealing other people’s statuses on Facebook is called a Facelift.

I never get mad when i see my ex with someone else because i was always taught to recycle my old trash.

I had my DNA analyzed. It came back with four main components. Bacon, Chocolate, Coffee & Crazy.

I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life, If I die next Tuesday.

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.

When someone adds me as a friend on Facebook, the first thing I do is go through all their pictures.

Rumors are carried by haters, spread by fools, and accepted by idiots..

Bad decisions make good stories. No wonder people find me so entertaining..

I hate when my mind wont shut up when I’m trying to sleep..

If there is no chocolate in heaven…”I AM NOT GOING”.

Dear smartphones, why can`t you charge yourself? Sincerely, you`re not so smart after all.

If you want to commit suicide, you should jump down from your ego to your IQ.

It used to be, “Can I have your number”? Now it’s, Do you have Facebook..

just found out that if you hold Ctrl and w for 10 seconds it turns your Facebook page from Blue to Red

I think all woman can agree that bigger is better. Nobody wants a small bank account

Tired of everyone talking about their feelings on Facebook lol..

You don’t have to like me, I’m not a Facebook status.

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet…

If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.

Finally found out that the plant I’ve been watering isn’t real…

One of my mom’s rules growing up was never to write on walls, well apparently Facebook doesn’t have that rule.

Ah, Facebook, where it is socially acceptable to talk to a wall…

If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot..

Facebook Jokes

My parents told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!” so I turned on the subtitles.

Insert coin to view my status message.

If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.

I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.

It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner. :)

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

I want you to have a candle-lit dinner and say those magical three words to you ………… “Pay The bill”

My friend wants to know if you think I’m hot.

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

God must love stupid people. He made SO many.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

If Facebook is like dating, then Twitter is like a one night stand – it’s fun while you’re doing it, you finish in like 5 minutes, and you feel real cheap afterwards.

Lary is wondering if they could invent a self cleaning oven, why can’t they invent a self cleaning house?

If vegetarians eat only vegetables, what about humanitarians?

Facebook is the adult way of having imaginary friends.

Good friends will bail you out of jail. Best friends will be sitting in the cell with you, laughing about how awesome that just was.

I never make the same mistake twice. Three, four times maybe. But never twice.

Facebook, because time isn’t going to kill itself.

Just finished deleting some friends on Facebook, if you can read this then you got lucky.

Is there a rehab for Facebook addiction?

Stealing other people’s statuses on Facebook is called a Facelift.

I never get mad when i see my ex with someone else because i was always taught to recycle my old trash.

I never get mad when i see my ex with someone else because i was always taught to recycle my old trash.

I had my DNA analyzed. It came back with four main components. Bacon, Chocolate, Coffee & Crazy.

I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life, If I die next Tuesday.

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.

When someone adds me as a friend on Facebook, the first thing I do is go through all their pictures.

Rumors are carried by haters, spread by fools, and accepted by idiots..

Bad decisions make good stories. No wonder people find me so entertaining..

I hate when my mind wont shut up when I’m trying to sleep..

If there is no chocolate in heaven…”I AM NOT GOING”.

Dear smartphones, why can`t you charge yourself? Sincerely, you`re not so smart after all.

If you want to commit suicide, you should jump down from your ego to your IQ.

It used to be, “Can I have your number”? Now it’s, Do you have Facebook..

just found out that if you hold Ctrl and w for 10 seconds it turns your Facebook page from Blue to Red

I think all woman can agree that bigger is better. Nobody wants a small bank account

Tired of everyone talking about their feelings on Facebook lol..

You don’t have to like me, I’m not a Facebook status.

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet…

If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.

Finally found out that the plant I’ve been watering isn’t real…

One of my mom’s rules growing up was never to write on walls, well apparently Facebook doesn’t have that rule.

Ah, Facebook, where it is socially acceptable to talk to a wall…

If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot..

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