I have no birthday that means I was not born therefore I cannot die.

I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.

New year, same goal.

Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.

A new year is unfolding like a blossom with petals curled tightly concealing the beauty within.

The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul.

Facebook’s next update, allowing you to check other people’s private messages.

I hate people that starts tweets with “I hate people that.”

When I die my gravestone is going to have a ‘Like’ button.

Once you begin being naughty, it is easier to go and on and on, and sooner or later something dreadful happens.

Poke me now if you’ve ever had a crush on me..

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

Heard your family went to a restaurant where they serve crabs just so they could bring you along.

Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable…like a coma.

I fell worthy of every kiss I laid upon you for in each of them went part of my heart.

We kiss and it feels like we have just shrugged off the world.

As he kissed me, I wondered how, in the middle of a rainstorm I could feel like I was burning alive.

Hug me when I’m there, miss me when I’m not, kiss me every day, and love me for all eternity.

It’s not about butterflies in the first kiss, but that they are there in the last.

One day you’ll kiss someone and know those are the lips you want to kiss for the rest of your life.

It’s the way that he makes you feel, it’s the way that he kisses you it’s the way that he makes you fall in love..

Kissing you is like dancing in the rain; it is an exciting kind of sensation that you can’t help but fall in love with.

People who throw kisses are mighty hopelessly lazy.

Kissing is like drinking salted water, you drink and your thirst increases.

Kiss, a contraction of the mouth due to an enlargement of the heart.

I don’t wanna miss one smile, I don’t wanna miss one kiss. I just wanna stay here with you just like this.

Kisses are like tears, the only real ones are the ones you can’t hold back.

I am a strong believer in kissing being very intimate, and the minute you kiss, the floodgates open for everything else.

A kiss without a hug is like a flower without the fragrance.

Smile! It’s the second best thing you can do with your mouth. But I like the first one .

We know that romance brings out the beast in you.

Hi! I’m a human being! What are you?

Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?

Are your parents siblings?

I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing with you, you’re just not laughing.

Heard your family went to a restaurant where they serve crabs just so they could bring you along.

Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn’t have given you worse advice.

How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I’ll get back to you.

If I want your opinion, I’ll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.

I’m not here right now so cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and Get Over it.

I’d explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

Save your breath, you’ll need it to blow up your date.

The price for independence is often isolation and solitude.

True independence and freedom can only exist in doing what’s right.

You cannot build character and courage by taking away man’s initiative and independence.

Without moral and intellectual independence, there is no anchor for national independence.

Economic independence is the foundation of the only sort of freedom worth a damn.

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