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Hilarious Facebook Status
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Sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.
For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember… That’s where the knives are kept.
I am deleting the word common sense word out of the dictionary because it doesn’t just exists.
Time is precious. Waste it wisely
Curosity killed the cat, but I was suspect for a while
My favorite mythical creature: A Honest Politician.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it
The longer the title the less important the job.
It’s usually the ones with the dirtiest hands pointing the fingers.
Silence is Golden. Duct tape is Silver :P
Make sure your worst enemy is not living between your own two ears.
You can either be right, or you can be the husband.
I learn something new every day that I didn’t want to know.
Nowadays, the average child has four parents.
If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
I hate it when I’m singing along to a song and the artist gets the words wrong.
God died for our sins, so if you don’t sin god died for nothing.
I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
soo the oil leak finally stopped,way to go Obama..took you long enough