Hilarious Facebook Status - Fbstatuses123 Text Messages

Laugh and make everyone laugh with hilarious facebook status. Never miss a chance to make others smile so read the list of our hilarious status and share it on facebook with your friends. FaceBookStatus123 is the place to read hilarious facebook messages. Make the day of your facebook friends and family members far from you by uploading facebook hilarious quotes. Give them happiness and smile on their faces by funny commenting. The most hilarious facebook statuses are here.

A nice old lady on a bus offers the driver some peanuts. He’s happy to take some. He asks her after a while why she isn’t having any herself. “Oh, young man,” she says, “they’re too hard on my poor teeth, I couldn’t.” “Why did you buy them at all then?” wonders the driver. “You see, I just love the chocolate they’re covered in!”

In Spain, there is a tradition after a bullfight to serve the mayor the bull’s testicles. – One day after a bullfight, the mayor asks the waiter: “Funny, why are they so small today?” – The waiter: “Today, sir, the bull won.”

My Bills are so big that I have to call them William now.

“911 operator what’s your emergency” “Are ya’ll hiring?”

I spend 95% of the time out of bed wishing I was back in bed.

Phew! Thank you, warning label. I was actually considering using my toaster in the shower this morning

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

How come “you’re a peach” is a complement but “you’re bananas” is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?

I saw a funny man at the beach, he was yelling “Help, shark! Help!” I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.

How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.

The best memories come from bad ideas on genius mind .

slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food

Sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember… That’s where the knives are kept.

I am deleting the word common sense word out of the dictionary because it doesn’t just exists.

Time is precious. Waste it wisely

Curosity killed the cat, but I was suspect for a while

My favorite mythical creature: A Honest Politician.