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I’m pretty sure the best thing about Facebook is the ability to read other people’s fights.

I know the world isn’t going to end in 2015 because my yogurt expires in 2016!

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.

Teacher -“Where is the CAPITAL of out COUNTRY???” Student -“in Swiss Banks” lolx.

Being single is fun….

Love thy neighbor. But don’t get caught.

My week is basically …Monday–>Monday#2–>Monday#3–>Monday#4–>Friday–>Saturday–>pre-Monday

At last got to know how to loose weight in 10 days :Just turn your head right then left and repeat whenever offered any food :) :)

Never make eye contact while eating a banana.


If you want to make your dreams come true, The first thing you have to do is wake up.

Our marriage is like a workshop. I work and my wife shops.

There are 3 types of people in the world- vegetarian, non-veterinarian & Tuesday Saturday

My heart is stolen…can I check your bra…….

I Am Not Special , I Am Just Limited Edition :P

My teachers always told me that if I didn’t study hard enough I’d end up working at McDonalds. Well I proved them wrong, I got a job at KFC today.

Congratulations!!My tallest finger want to give you a standing ovation

I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.

I Have Good News And Bad News To Tell You. The Bad News? I Have No Good News. And The Good News? I Have No Bad News.

Open Books, Not Legs. Blow Minds, Not Guy[/quote]