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Our marriage is like a workshop. I work and my wife shops.

There are 3 types of people in the world- vegetarian, non-veterinarian & Tuesday Saturday

My heart is stolen…can I check your bra…….

I Am Not Special , I Am Just Limited Edition :P

My teachers always told me that if I didn’t study hard enough I’d end up working at McDonalds. Well I proved them wrong, I got a job at KFC today.

Congratulations!!My tallest finger want to give you a standing ovation

I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.

I Have Good News And Bad News To Tell You. The Bad News? I Have No Good News. And The Good News? I Have No Bad News.

Open Books, Not Legs. Blow Minds, Not Guy[/quote]

My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.

Someone on his status “Sleeping” …since 3 Days! He’s Probably dead.

A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”

Wow now I’m a graduate…….Now thermometer is not the only thing that has degrees without brains .

It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they also do the same thing…

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Life is Short – Chat Fast!

Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.

Everythings funnier when youre supposed to be quiet..

I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes!!

What’s good about being single? you can always flirt with anyone. you can go anywhere without someone behind your back. you can do whatever you want. and what ‘s the best about being single? No one make you cry :) :)