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Looking at people’s mutual friends and saying “OMG HOW DO YOU KNOW THEM”

The last time anything got banged on my bed, it was my little toe against the leg.

I’m pretty sure the best thing about Facebook is the ability to read other people’s fights.

I know the world isn’t going to end in 2015 because my yogurt expires in 2016!

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.

Teacher -“Where is the CAPITAL of out COUNTRY???” Student -“in Swiss Banks” lolx.

Being single is fun….

Love thy neighbor. But don’t get caught.

My week is basically …Monday–>Monday#2–>Monday#3–>Monday#4–>Friday–>Saturday–>pre-Monday

At last got to know how to loose weight in 10 days :Just turn your head right then left and repeat whenever offered any food :) :)

Never make eye contact while eating a banana.


If you want to make your dreams come true, The first thing you have to do is wake up.

Our marriage is like a workshop. I work and my wife shops.

There are 3 types of people in the world- vegetarian, non-veterinarian & Tuesday Saturday

My heart is stolen…can I check your bra…….

I Am Not Special , I Am Just Limited Edition :P

My teachers always told me that if I didn’t study hard enough I’d end up working at McDonalds. Well I proved them wrong, I got a job at KFC today.

Congratulations!!My tallest finger want to give you a standing ovation

I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.