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Creative Facebook Status
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Don’t Ever Let Go What Is Already In The Hands
There’s no place like 127.0.0.1
Parallel park, like nobody’s laughing.
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
Saying ‘What?’ And then realizing what they said a second later.
The past tense of wink is wunked.
Pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens.
I’m drinking like there’s snow tomorrow.
Being creative is not a hobby it is a way of life…
I automatically classify anything over $5 as expensive.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion and I’d hate to deprive them
You can’t handle my undivided attention.
My Viagra addiction was the hardest time of my life.
Just high fived that wall with my face.
Even a turtle only makes progress when it sticks its neck out.
The best things in life are not things.
They think, encouraging, uplifting thoughts positive, and the negative will soon disappear
Unless you’re a jar of Nutella, it’s impossible to make everyone happy.
Time for a fun game. If you had 3 wishes, what would they be? (You can’t wish for another wish, or money.)
Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.