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Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.

The best thing about being me, I’m a limited edition…there are no other copies!

When they ask me what I liked best, I`ll tell them it was you.

everyone calls you by your name, but only one person can make it sound special.

Smiling does make it a little bit better.

You`ve got two choices; you can either sit and cry, or spread your wings and fly.

If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.

I wouldn’t say you’re stupid. You are, but I wouldn’t say it.

Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don’t know when.

Every rule has an exception, especially this one.

Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?

War doesn’t determine who’s right, it determines who’s left.

A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

If you see a guy opening a car door for a girl, it’s one of two things, either a new girl, or a new car!

When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?

slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food.

Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!