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I have finally figured out why I can’t lose this extra weight. The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my body says, “for extra volume and body.”

Even if you live your life as a open book, people will still wonder which pages have secret messages.

For every girl without a guy, there`s a guy without a girl.

Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.

I follow the quote, “Always be true to yourself” because I only lie to others!

You`re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.

The awkward moment when you know you shouldn`t laugh, but you do..

I am a star, so when you see me, make a wish.

I posted on your wall. No, not Facebook, look at the side of your house.

That awkward moment, when you wake up with one sock on.

Money doesn`t bring happiness, but shopping does..

I`m not single. I`m in a long standing relationship with fun and freedom.

Don`t you know it`s rude to talk while I`m interrupting?