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If a profile picture has two people in it, the profile belongs to the uglier one.

My wife had auto correct way before the iPhone.

Some thoughts should stay in your head.

You may not like what I do or my different view but that’s why I’m me, and not you

Hold on I’m getting an idea!

Don’t be like cigarettes, people buy you when they need you and step on you when they finish from you, but be like drugs, they DIE if they don’t have you..

You know you are addicted to Facebook when you log off Facebook, turn your computer off, go to bed, role over, and log onto your Facebook from your phone one last time for the night.

If you wanna be successful in life, you have to work hard for it, but party harder.

Good morning. You are beautiful inside and out. Hit your day head on knowing this, and everything will be just fine.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize that you`re wrong.

Cheer up, tomorrow will be a better day, just believe!

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but I’m actively waiting for my problems to go away.

If I could re-arrange the alphabet I would put U and I together.

Never forgets a face..but in your case I’ll make an exception!

Dreams of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

Never make eye contact while eating a banana..

You’re not an ugly person. You’re an exceptionally beautiful monkey.

Love is like fire. It can warm your heart, but it can also burn your house down.

I’m a nobody. Nobody’s perfect. So I guess that makes me perfect.