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Every conversation is more fun if you start with a dirty mind.

People who describe things as “better than sex” are having the wrong kind of sex.

Women and rocks are very much alike … We skip the flat ones.

If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnapping!

You can’t be the top dog if you act like a pussy!

Fuck everyone who said they were there for me, and then left.

I wanna do bad things with you.

Girls don’t dress for boys, they dress for

Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together :)

Why is bra singular and panties plural?

Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.

Me: “Why am I still single?” Brain: “You’re weird as shit.” Body: “And you’re fat.” Face: “Plus you’re ugly.” Food: “But I’m here for you.”

You all interior lighting achieve full, That supreme light of lights illuminates your understanding.

Girls dont dress for boys, they dress for themselves. If girls dressed for boys, they’d just walk around naked all the time.

Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio

Just because a guy is attracted to you physically or enjoys you sexually it doesn’t mean that he wants to commit to you emotionally.

A man was lost on an island.He cut a tree and decided to make a boat.Suddenly.He saw a girl and He used the tree for making bed. Moral: A HOLE CAN CHANGE YOUR GOAL.

I’m a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?

I am not virgin, My life fucks me everyday.

I’m listening to the voices in my head and I’ve come to realise that they are having more fun than me. I’m gonna go join them for a few drinks.