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Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.

Me: “Why am I still single?” Brain: “You’re weird as shit.” Body: “And you’re fat.” Face: “Plus you’re ugly.” Food: “But I’m here for you.”

You all interior lighting achieve full, That supreme light of lights illuminates your understanding.

Girls dont dress for boys, they dress for themselves. If girls dressed for boys, they’d just walk around naked all the time.

Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio

Just because a guy is attracted to you physically or enjoys you sexually it doesn’t mean that he wants to commit to you emotionally.

A man was lost on an island.He cut a tree and decided to make a boat.Suddenly.He saw a girl and He used the tree for making bed. Moral: A HOLE CAN CHANGE YOUR GOAL.

I’m a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?

I am not virgin, My life fucks me everyday.

I’m listening to the voices in my head and I’ve come to realise that they are having more fun than me. I’m gonna go join them for a few drinks.

Don’t be happy for making me a fool, you’ll later come to know who the real fool is

I am not virgin, My life fucks me everyday.

I like it here because not only do I get to air out my dirty laundry, I get to see yours too.

I smile when I’m having dirty thoughts :)

Facebook’s timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.

I hate how chocolate immediately melt on my fingers. I mean.. am I that hot?

Knows the real fountain of youth is to have a dirty mind and a naughty smile..

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework.

People say I got a dirty mind, I just think I’ve got a good imagination lol..

yes i have a dirty mind, and you are in it…